Merry Christmas, Darling
by HardyBoyz4Eva
Summary: Jeff/Phil. Phil/Adam. It's been one year since Jeff's death and Phil remembers their love on Christmas. Warnings: Drug Use, Mentioned OD, Character Death. One-Shot. Please Review!


**Title:** Merry Christmas, Darling

**Rated:** M (Mature)

**Genre(s):** Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Pair(s):** Jeff/Phil, minor Phil/Adam

**Summary:** It's been one year since Jeff's death and Phil remembers their love on Christmas.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anyone.

**Dedication:** This is for Dragongirl345, who requested a one-shot with Jeff/Phil for Christmas. I hope that you don't mind that I threw in a dash of Phil/Adam. Please Review!

**Warning:** Slash, Drug Use, OD, Sad Memories, etc.

**OOOO**

It's Christmas Eve. It would have been our fifth Christmas. It would have been our fifth anniversary.

It seems so stupid to look back on it now. If I hadn't been such an idiot, if I hadn't walked out on this, on us, then maybe you would still be here. If I had been a little more attentive, I would've noticed the bottle of Vicodin that still sat in the medicine cabinet. You swore that you had broken that addiction. I believed you. And, at least in that way, it's my fault that you're not here to celebrate our fifth anniversary.

Do you know that, for the first week, I could barely move out of bed? It still smelled like you. There was that unique mixture of hair dye, cologne, and something that was so uniquely you that nothing could ever replace it. But that scent soon faded, and when it did, I came to loathe that bed. It was where you had died. It was where I had found your body. So calm, so beautiful, I could almost convince myself that you were asleep.

The doctor told me that you overdosed on prescription pills. You had fallen into a comatose state and never awakened. I had sworn to you that I would help you beat this. I had never broken a promise until that moment. It killed me inside to know that I could have done more, that I could have saved you, if I had only cared a little bit more. You'll never know how sorry I am about that. I'll never have the chance to tell you how much I love you.

So now, I sit in front of a bland Christmas tree. Adam and Jay had come over earlier in the week and insisted that I put it up, but I had no intention of decorating the lifeless green branches. Still, I rifled through the box of decorations that Jeff and I had purchased for our first Christmas together. Colorful balls and thick strands of metallic colored tinsel filled the box. But what captured my attention was the star.

An intricate, porcelain star that had been hand-painted with yellow, black, and silver swirls. It was truly beautiful. Jeff had made it for the tree. Almost without thinking, I rose to my feet and sat the star at the very top of the medium-sized tree. That was all of the decoration that it needed. A small smile formed on my face. Somehow, I knew that Jeff would want me to do that. And I could live with that.

I smoothed a hand over the star. "Merry Christmas, Jeff."

**OOOO**

I awoke around noon the next day to a hesitant knock on the door. The couch was hard and unforgiving, but I still couldn't face that bed. Running a hand through my untamable hair, I stumbled over to the door and tried not to moan when my back cried out in protest. Without even bothering to check who it was, I opened the door and came face to face with The Rated R Superstar, otherwise known as Adam Copeland.

He was bundled heavily from head to toe. One of his signature knit caps was on his head and there was a similarly knit scarf that covered his mouth and nose. In his glove-covered hands, he held a box that had been carefully wrapped in red and green paper and had an obnoxious green bow on the top. I looked at him, confused. He lowered the scarf from in front of his mouth. Our eyes met.

"Nobody should be alone on Christmas." Was all that the blond said.

"Is that for me?" I asked still stunned. When the blond nodded, I noticed for the first time that he was shivering. "Come on inside. I'll start a fire."

Adam offered a wide, thankful smile. "Thanks, man. You don't know how freakin' cold it is out there. I was afraid that my hands would fall off before you answered the door."

I was finally able to start the fire. "How long did you have to wait for me?"

Adam shrugged. "A half hour… maybe an hour at the most. It wasn't too bad until this avalanche of snow decided to fall off of the roof and hit me on the head."

"Shit. I'm sorry, man." I motioned to his still-wet clothes. "I'll get you something warm to change into. Just throw those into the bathtub, okay?"

"Okay." Adam agreed.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I went into the old bedroom that I used to share with Jeff and retrieved an old set of Jeff's jeans, and white belt, and a blue and white sweater. Trying to ignore the shiver that chased down my spine as I held the clothes, I kicked the closet closed and shut the light off in the bedroom. Walking across the hall, I didn't bother to knock. And for that miscalculation, I was met with an almost-naked Adam.

Adam was totally naked, save for a tiny little black thong that barely left anything to the imagination. I could feel a dark flush spread over my face, much to my annoyance. It wasn't like I hadn't seen it before. Adam was a bit of an exhibitionist, and when Jeff was with the WWE, he was always changing in our locker room. It became second nature to see the blond almost-naked. But this time, for some reason, it was different.

"You need a towel?" I asked. I was thankful that my voice remained steady.

"Yeah. Thanks." Adam didn't even sound the least bit embarrassed that I had walked in on him like this.

I took a fluffy white towel off the rack and threw it at him. He caught it easily. "I'll leave the clothes on the counter, okay? Just come downstairs when you're ready."

"Okay." Adam nodded.

I walked downstairs and tried to shake the extremely vivid image from my mind. However, that proved to be a little bit more difficult than I had originally believed. Entering the kitchen, I fixed the coffee maker with decaf blueberry coffee beans and fixed it so that it would make two cups of coffee. After a minute, it was ready. I took out the carafe and poured the hot liquid into two Christmas-themed cups, before I fixed them with creamer and sweetener.

Adam came downstairs a minute later. It was a little bit odd to see him dressed in Jeff's clothes, but it didn't bother me like I had originally thought that it would. He plopped down on the couch and accepted his coffee gratefully. I took the seat beside him a little bit more gracefully, careful not to spill the hot liquid in my cup. Adam looked around until his emerald eyes fell on the tree and then he smiled a little bit.

"I see that you finally decided to decorate the tree. I like what you've done with it." Adam commented.

I was able to work a small, _real_ smile on my face. "Thanks. I think that Jeff would like it."

Adam smiled and nodded. "I think that he would like it too."

That seemed to remind Adam that he had come with my Christmas present in tow. He set his coffee cup down on a coaster and then took the box from where he had set it on the floor. He then handed it over to me. I looked at him oddly, a bit unsure of what to make of this. When Adam nodded encouragingly, I carefully tore at the box and the paper and opened the box. Inside, there was a note. It was from Jeff.

_**Dear Phil,**_

_**It took me awhile to come up with the perfect Christmas present to get you. But then, it finally came to me when we were making love in my studio. That's when you saw the ring designs that I sketched out for Matt, who, at that time, had wanted to marry Lita. But there was one that you saw that you absolutely fell in love with. And how could I ever deny you that? Merry Christmas, darling. I hope you love it.**_

_**Jeff**_

I felt my heart constrict as a small sketch fell out of the letter. He had cut the sketch out of his book. But there was still more in the box. Hesitantly, I reached inside and found a ring box. I opened the box and, in Jeff's handwriting, a small note in the upper section of the box read 'will you marry me'. The ring itself was a dark, natural ruby that filled the band all around, with tiny, almost unnoticeable diamond chips all around. Not _too_ feminine, but not entirely masculine.

With shaky hands, I took the ring out and slid it onto my finger. It was a perfect fit. I didn't even notice the tears that had started to pour down my face until Adam reached out and swiped them away with the pad of his thumb. My eyes flickered over to him in time to see him lean forward and kiss my forehead softly. He took hold of my hand and inspected the ring carefully.

"Somehow, I knew that it would be beautiful." Adam said distractedly.

"How did you… how did you get the ring? Did Jeff give it to you?" I managed to force out between the sobs that I still fought to control. Adam nodded.

"Yeah. He told me that you two had had some problems lately, and that, if he didn't make it to Christmas for some reason or another, he wanted you to have this." Adam said.

"Then… you knew…" I trailed off, unable to say more.

Adam nodded once more. "He called me before he did it. He wanted to call you, but you wouldn't answer the phone. So he told me to tell you that he loves you and that he doesn't blame you for what happened."

"How can he _not_ blame me?" I cried out. I was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to fix it. "It's my fault that he killed himself! And I have to live with that for the rest of my life. How can he not blame me?"

Adam tilted my head back so that our eyes met. "He doesn't blame you because he doesn't want you to blame yourself." Adam explained.

"Really?" I asked a tad skeptical of this 'truth' that Adam had said.

"Really." Adam nodded.

And then, without warning, Adam leaned in and kissed me. It was a small, hesitant brush of the lips. Truth be told, at first, I wasn't exactly sure what to make of it. But then, Adam drew back. He had an apologetic look on his face as he hurriedly looked for the words to explain his actions, but I didn't let him get that far. I reached forward and tangled my hand in his loose blond hair, yanking him forward and kissing him brutally once more.

When we drew back for air, I offered a small smile to the blond. "Thank you."

"For what?" Adam asked, confused.

"For giving me a reason to love Christmas again." I said before I leaned forward and kissed him one more time.

Neither man noticed the almost translucent figures that hovered in the corner of the room, watching the scene unfold with smiles on their faces. The woman, a motherly figure, smiled and clapped a hand onto her son's shoulder. The son was none other than Jeff Hardy, the reason for Phil's initial distress. He also had a smile on his face as he watched Phil and Adam make themselves comfortable on the couch as they watched Christmas specials.

"Congratulations, Jeff. You're work here is done." His mother said with a smile.

Jeff cast one last look at his would-be fiancé. "Merry Christmas, darling."

And then, they both vanished.

**OOOO**

**A/N:** I hope you like this little Christmas in July story. Please remember to review!


End file.
